If... (Weeks 5 and 6)

I'm trying desperately to catch up but I've said that before. No telling if I ever will. But, here are Weeks 5 and 6 of the "If..." project started by Nick, followed by Jody, then attempted by me here. Nick seems entirely too together, posting regularly and all that. Jody is more my speed, falling behind then trying like hell to make up for the time lost. Anyway, here are the next eight questions...

Week 5

1. If you could inherit a comfortable home in any city in the world that you could use but not sell, where would you want it to be.

Terribly easy question. Right here in Fayetteville, Ark. Granted, it's not as cultured as it could be for a university town but it's just funky enough to make me feel at home. We've avoided much of the sprawl the rest of NW Ark has (thank you to Wal*Mart for being in Bentonville) but the growth has impacted Fayetteville in a good way I think. Plus, doing a search not long ago, I found we hit number 7 on Kiplinger's list of Best Places to Live, Work and Play.

2. If you could inherit a vacation home anywhere in the world in which you could spend one month a year, but that you could never sell, where would it be?

Sounds like an easy enough question but there are so many places to choose from. I'd definitely have to pick continental Europe near the Mediterranean. But do you pick the south of Italy, the south of France, Monaco or Spain? Because of my newfound love of wine, I would have to go with Nice, France. So near the coast, but also within close travel distance of some of the greatest vineyards and wineries in the world...not to mention the greatest food.

3. If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you like to to be?

I would be perfectly content being a badass at the acoustic guitar. I've never been terribly fond of crafts and making things (except money) but I've always wished I could play the guitar. I have a guitar, just not the time involved in learning to play it.

4. If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?

Jody has it spot on by picking Mandarin Chinese, though my primary reason is only an afterthought for him. China is a huge, mostly untapped market and anyone who can handle business dealings in the native language is many leaps ahead of the competition.


Week 6

1. If you could have permanent possession of any single object in the world, what would you want it to be?

I have no clue on this one, actually...if I can be a bit sacrilegious I'd go with the Holy Grail. Partly because it would just be really cool, especially if it was actually Mary Magdalene's body (thank you Da Vinci Code), but mostly because nothing else is coming to mind.

2. If you could have the starring role in one film already been made, which movie would you pick?

Cheating only slightly, I'd pick Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's my favorite book series ever and they clearly didn't stop after the first movie. So the starring role in the first means guaranteed employment for at least six more. Plus it'd be really cool to be the guy who plays Harry Potter. I would, however, make the promise to my fans not to appear nude in any plays (*cough* Equus).

3. If you could return for one year to one age in your life, knowing what you know now, to relive that year as you wish, which year would you go back to?

I'd love to relive my senior year of high school. That was definitely a great time in my life - student body president, playing golf all the time and stuff you're supposed to do your last year of high school. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have been such an arrogant closed-minded conservative asshole. But at least I've (mostly) fixed that now!

4. If you had to identically repeat any single year of your life to date, without changing a thing, which year would you relive?

I really wish they'd randomize these questions in the book more. I suppose it's done so in a social setting you can pick and choose from related topics. As a lawyer, I can appreciate the fine distinctions between relatively similar questions but it's a bit annoying in the blog setting.

Back to actually answering the question, I can't think of a recent year that I would like to re-live moment by moment without changing a thing. I think I would have to go back further to my childhood. Maybe around 10, the same age as my niece. I catch myself every once in a while telling Abby something like "back when I was your age, we didn't have cell phones." And I get the blurry eyed stare of a techno-struck little girl who has been asking for a cell phone for every Christmas and birthday since she was 7.

Yes, those times were simple. My greatest responsibilities were taking out the trash and making sure my Dad always had a cold beer in his hand. Why do little kids have cell phones these days? They certainly shouldn't be far enough from their parents (or their friends' parents) to need a phone to stay in touch. Just another reason to feel old...

If... (Weeks 3 and 4)

So since I have a few weeks to catch up on, I'll try to do at least two sets of questions each week. Thanks to my inspiration for this project from JD2.0 and NickyNax.

Without further ado, Week 3:

1. If you could alter one physical characteristic of your mate, what would it be?

I consider myself lucky not to have to answer this question, as I'm single. Sort of a mixed blessing as I don't GET to answer the question at the moment!

2. If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?

Haven't I already answered this? I suppose in the entirety of history, I'd have to pick Jesus. Not so much for the religious experience of it, though I suppose seeing water turn into wine might make me a believer!

3. If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?

I count myself lucky that I never had to go through a divorce or other terribly traumatic event in my childhood. The one thing that stands out clearly to me is my father's terrible temper. I'm not sure what the root of it was, but he was a very angry man when I was growing up. It only took the smallest thing to set him off. My brother and I reacted very differently. My brother rebelled while I tended to retreat. I'm not sure if it was the age difference (he's 10 years older), or some other factor, but we took very different approaches. Here we are years later and he's mellowed out a LOT and we both have a good relationship with him. It makes me wonder how things might have been different if we'd had the same relationship with him all that time he was so pissed off.

4. If you could have any room in the world become your bedroom from now on, which room would you choose?

This is a really tough question. I've been lucky to travel to several countries in Europe, and one would be hard pressed to find more impressive architecture or interior design in any other part of the world. But would it be terribly wrong if I picked Paula Deen's kitchen?

....and Week 4:

1. If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would it be?

I think Jody has it right when he says he would rid the world of religious intolerance. I would take it a step farther and get rid of organized religion generally. I'm glad this isn't asking for a realistic answer because organized religion will always be a part of our world, and religious intolerance is equally inevitable. So many of the world's problems can be traced to religious roots. Granted, there are many peaceful religions and religions with honorable roots and honorable intentions. This is one, however, that I believe has costs that outweigh the benefits. Don't count me as a John Lennon type...I certainly don't consider "Imagine" my theme song, even for this particular issue, but he might just have a point.

2. If you had to assassinate one famous person who is alive right now, who would it be and how would you do it?

I think the most obvious answer to me is Osama bin Ladin (sp?). As the figurehead for the worldwide terrorist network, his death would not end the problem but I believe it would be a blow to the extremist Muslim movement. We have chased him for years and have come close to capturing/killing him but he continues to elude capture. By hiding I think it shows his cowardice, but to his followers, it seems to energize them in some sick way. It's almost like he is more powerful because he has been in power so long and the United States has not caught up to him. As for the method, I say strap a suicide bomb to his chest and make him wander around an empty field waiting for someone to push the remote control button. Make him suffer the same fate as the developmentally disabled women his group sent into the streets in Iraq, but make him suffer longer waiting for it to happen. This answer could easily be related to Week 4, Question 1 above.

3. If you could permanently alter one thing about your physical appearance, what would you change?

As any of my friends could tell you, I've struggled with my weight for years. I lost about 40 pounds when I trained for the Hogeye Half Marathon a couple of years ago, put some back on (but managed not to go up in clothing sizes!), and now I'm working it back off. I've made it an absolute part of my daily routine to go to the gym after work, no matter what I'm doing later in the evening, to eat better, and not drink as much. But if I didn't actually have to do all that, it would be great!

4. If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?

I really feel like I could stop aging at this point. I'm sure I could have said that if I had been asked at any point along the way. There are points in my life that I've been happier, but looking back I realize that everything has brought me to this point. I think some of the things in my life could be better (not being single, etc.) but I know I'm far more mature for what I've been through. I've got a lot of great friends who I would never give up and (kind of) a plan for where I want to go with my life.

"If..." Project - Week 2

Here's Week 2 of the "If..." project, being done by my friend at JD2.0 and his friend Nick. Only 123 more weeks to go from here!

1. If you could have lived through any war in history (without actually fighting in it), which would it be?

As a good Southern boy, I'd definitely have to pick the Civil War. I think the Civil War, along with the Revolutionary War, made the greatest impact on our country. Call it the war against slavery, the war of northern aggression, blah blah blah. In my opinion, it wasn't much different from the colonists fighting the Redcoats.

"But, when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security."

Looking back, I can't say I'm disappointed in the outcome. As economically disadvantaged as the South is now, it would be far worse as an independent Confederacy. But back to the point of the question, it would have been a very interesting time in which to live.


2. If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of?

Gnats. All the bug spray in the world can't get rid of those little things. When I played a lot of golf back in the day, one of the golf moms had everyone dabbing vanilla extract behind their ears - some old Southern remedy I suppose. That went on for an entire summer, though I couldn't really tell that it worked.


3. If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forevermore, which would you choose?

I can't even think about spiders without shuddering. I know they're supposedly (for my grammatically challenged friends, you would say "supposably") good for pest control, but they make sprays for those pests and I choose chemicals over 8-legged creatures any day.

4. If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you know them or not, who would you want it to be?

As Nick noted, this question is not about a romantic dinner - an elegant dinner is entirely different. For something that special I'd have to pick Alton Brown, the Mr. Wizard/Bill Nye/Albert Einstein of the culinary world. I'd love to be able to sit with him over a 50 course (ok, I'd go for a few less I suppose) prix fixe dinner. I've heard about them on the Food Network and I'd love to hear what he would have to say about the techniques used in each course, his expert opinion on each course, and definitely the other amazing conversation I could imagine would accompany the dinner. He's by far my favorite person on the Food Network.

If... Going Slightly Off the Beaten Path (Week 1)

So I came across a blog posting by my friend Jody, at JD2.0, who has started following Nick's "If Project" at nickynax.com. The book, If...(Questions for the Game of Life), is 125 pages long with 4 questions on each page. I'd like to think I could answer the four questions every week for the next 125 weeks and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure it happens. Maybe I'll find out something about myself along the way - that's a scary thought. As it evolves, I can see myself getting a little deeper into myself - and hopefully the questions will evolve in the same way.



1. If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?

Man, that's a tough one. At this point in my life I'm hoping for a good job. After seven years of higher education and three years of law school loans, I find myself $60,000 in debt and needing a new car before my current POS completely falls apart. As much as I want to find a good legal job (and I have been applying for several) I suppose I could fall back on my business undergrad degree and give the business world a go. I suppose I've always thought in the back of my mind that it would be nice to end up running a company one day. It's not terribly rare. 10.8% of the S&P 500 companies have an attorney at the helm. Anyways, back to the crux of the question. I really just want a job that will let me have my own place, find and raise a dog, and have enough left over after paying the bills so I can have fun on the weekends. I'm pretty happy with my life right now - great friends, great family and no desire to be in a relationship, though some nights do get lonely now and again. The one thing that is missing is security for the future - that's something that scares the hell out of me.

2. If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select?

This isn't an easy question. I'm not easily impressed by people and the ones I want to spend time with the most are my friends. I suppose coming from a legal background, I would really want to spend time with Sandra Day O'Connor. She was probably the most powerful person on the Supreme Court from the late 1980s until her retirement in 2005. She never seemed to have a judicial philosophy and made her decisions on a case-by-case basis. She was accused over the years of being a conservative hack and a liberal baby killer. In reality she was a great moderate, usually falling on the side of personal liberty. It was a delicate position for her to be in, especially as the first woman to serve on the High Court. Anthony Kennedy might have taken her place in the middle but I don't think he'll ever gain a legacy of deciding the great issues like O'Connor.

3. If you could spend one whole night alone with anyone in history, who would you choose?

This was actually an easier question for me. I'd pick my Papaw over anyone else who has ever lived. He died on May 22 after a long battle with colon cancer that eventually spread to most of his gut. His obituary, written by one of my great aunts is here. He was the patriarch of the Sandage family and unofficial handyman for most of Hot Spring County, especially his hometown of Donaldson. I try not to remember the frail man who lay dying in his bed - that wasn't my Papaw. My Papaw was the storyteller and historian, a reluctant leader and an overall good man. My dad told me he took Papaw around every street in Donaldson and he had a story about every street, every house and nearly every family who had ever lived in that town. I know I didn't always realize the impact he had on his community until the funeral, when nearly 500 people crammed into an entirely too small funeral chapel to pay their respects. When I went to the Sandage Family Reunion last week, there was a piece missing that I think everyone felt. But I'm thankful for the impact he had on us and the way he touched everyone he knew.

4. If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

Too easy. Cinque Terre, Italy is where I could live forever. I visited once while on a study abroad trip. The name, literally "five lands" is a trail between five towns on the west coast of Italy. Hiking, laying on the beach, eating and drinking are some of the best parts of visiting. Each town has its own character - each also produces its own wines and olive oils! There is a trail between the towns that starts in Riomaggiore and winds north. The farther north, the more treacherous the trail. It ends in Monterosso, where a beautiful beach awaits. If I could only make one more trip abroad (God forbid I don't have more opportunities), Cinque Terre would be on the itenerary.